Learner vs. Judger

Whilst studying Leadership Coaching, an optional unit in the UWA MBA program, we were introduced to the Learner vs. Judger model attributed to Dr Marilee Adams of the Inquiry Institute and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. This model is depicted in the Choice Map displayed below (free PDF download from the Inquiry Institute):

The concept of this model is that events occur and things happen that impact and affect us. When this happens, the voice(s) in our head asks questions (if you’re thinking to yourself “what voice?”… that’s the voice!). Sometimes we ask ourselves “Whose fault is it?” (or we jump straight to an answer… “It’s so-and-so’s fault!”) and sometimes we ask ourselves “Ok, what can I do to fix this?”.

Damnit, I’m a judger!

The Judger Path is not about making judgements (these are often necessary in business, engineering, etc); it is about being judgemental. When something goes wrong, our instinct tends to be to find someone to blame – it could be ourselves or it could be others. We ask “why” questions: “Why am I so stupid?” or “Why is everyone else so stupid!?”.

When I learnt about this, I immediately thought to myself “Damnit, I’m a judger! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?”. Classic judger! I started feeling stressed and pessimistic. Except, to my own surprise, I then started to think “Well, how could I change this? Maybe this model could help me”.

Is there a different question I could ask?

This is where the Learner Path steps in. Having a learner mentality is about stopping and asking open questions. It is about asking questions that help us learn from the experience. This can include how to avoid it occurring in the future and what can be done to improve the current situation.

When I asked myself how I could change my own judger mentality, I stopped thinking “I’m to blame for this, what’s wrong with me?” and thought “Is there a different question I could ask?”. I switched to a Learner Path and started asking what I could do to be less judgemental. I found plenty of areas where I could apply this, for example, see my previous post Mr Know-it-all: 2 lessons for being less arrogant. Best of all, it felt good!

We’re all judgers at heart

Whilst its not represented in the choice map, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life suggests that judging is natural, almost instinctive. So, we are all going to judge. What is important, is the ability to recognise when we start judging and to switch our questions. If we can do that, we can learn from anything.

Also… this doesn’t just have to be around negative experiences. If we do something well and we succeed, we sometimes think “yay, I’m awesome!”. It’s great to feel that elation, wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could learn how to repeat it? We can, if we ask ourselves “What did I do well that I could do again next time?”.

What have I learnt…

So I’m trying to be less judgemental and more thoughtful. When things go right, I want to look at what I did well and how I can repeat that. When things don’t go right, I want to look at what I could change so that it goes right next time. I won’t always succeed, but that’s ok. If I can start to recognise when I go into judger mode (which is still quite frequent!), I’m already switching paths.

PS: Should you read the book?

It’s not entirely necessary to read Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. I found the story-telling style a little simplistic and somewhat staged; but I had already been exposed to the concepts. The writing style is perhaps more beneficial for those who are newer to to the concepts. Having said that, I did learn some additional ideas from the book that were not captured in the strategy map, so I’m glad I read it and would encourage you to too.

My first introduction to myself

Who I am today is vastly different to who I was a few years ago. There have been lots of subtle, unintentional changes. There have even been rather significant changes spurred on by the encouragement of those who care for me. There is, however, one significant event that stands out in my mind as a turning-point in my life.

In May 2009, I enrolled in the MBA program at The University of Western Australia. For years I had talked about wanting to do an MBA. In my mind, it would be all about how to succeed in business. I had finished my Bachelors degree, I just needed those two years work experience before I could enrol and then I would take over the world. 7 years later, my fiancée (now my lovely wife) finally convinced me to get off my backside and enrol.

The first unit, a compulsory unit, was Organisational Behaviour and I thought to myself: "I'm a numbers guy, I don't really need to learn this stuff". As the unit progressed, we were being taught a number of interesting concepts such as the MARS model of individual behaviour, Belbin team roles (Team Roles at Work on Amazon.com) and the characteristics of high performance teams. As we organised ourselves into teams and began working on a team project I began to realise that this was the perfect opportunity to actually apply what we were learning.

For me, this was the start of my journey towards better self-awareness. Things didn't go very smoothly during that team project and I didn't handle things perfectly; but I learnt some powerful lessons from that experience. Lessons that I now apply to my studies, to my work and to my life. These lessons were important... but the biggest lesson of all was that I was not perfect. I don't mean that in a negative, judgemental way; but in a powerful, positive way. As Socrates put it: "The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know".